This months photos are a random assortment of pics from my phone, blog style. Trying to do a better job of keeping my children’s faces out of public posts. Because that’s what we do now.
I don’t have New Years words or mantras. Some of you choose to focus on a word throughout the year, like say, “joy”. That’s a lovely practice but is too abstract for me. I love a concrete list to check off or physical goals that can be measured. One of my favorite times of year is that pause between Christmas and New Years and I get out my planner to look over how we did on our many goals and dreams.
But the year of 2024 and again for this year, 2025, my loftiest goal has been simply, “time management”. I don’t know how to set goals for it, I just know I want to be better at it.
I have this notion that time can rubber band around my bad habits. So if I choose to tackle a project on the same day I know I’ve got a scheduled appointment, and the project is taking longer than I anticipated, I push ahead to finish the project because if I don’t, I know I will have this unfinished project lingering in time and space for the next 4 weeks. But time doesn’t bend to allow me to finish it and get to my appointment on time. It keeps its relentless march forward and then I’m the fool that has the unfinished project and am also going to be late the appointment. Because make no mistake, this is folly.
Up until a few years ago, I thought it was an acceptable practice, even maybe an endearing one, to be late everywhere you went. *Just a girl, always running late, but being cute and stuff, with coffee and tote in hand, I can totally pull off this vibe*. Then I matured gracefully (lol) and realized that I was being incredibly vain and running late and/or always having multiple projects unfinished is not the characteristic I wanted it to be. It’s just bad time management.
I’ve started viewing time as currency. It’s the most precious commodity we have. Time is fleeting, and the older I get the more I realize just how true that is. Other people’s time is precious, and to waste theirs by being late, or forcing others to wait on you, is about one of the most selfish acts imaginable.
There are many caveats for this conversation, and you’ll have to forgive me for not going into any of them. Of course there are exceptions. But from a former chronically late, time disrespecter, this may a socially accepted bad practice, but it’s just rude.
Having my kids grow into their middle school years has been the swift kick in the pants that I have needed to shift my thinking. Having kids in general helps you see time in new ways, because you’re watching them change before your very eyes. Sometimes you cry because it’s all going too fast, and sometimes you cry because you can’t possibly last another day in the current phase. But there’s something about these big kids that I have now that makes the days seem suddenly very, very short. They have all these places they need to be, and appointments or practices that have to be kept. You want to do so much with them but the horizon of adulthood is starting to come into focus and you realize just how much you’re not going to get around to before they’re wanting to try out life on their own. Everyone needs individual time with you, still wants time with you, and you’ve got all these important conversations to wrap your mind around but you’ve also got the little kids that need to learn to read. And the food. Feeding them never seems to stop and they need more of it than ever. Then there’s the time for your husband, the time to just be yourself, the time to start the garden. On and on the list goes, and on and on the needs comes.
I didn’t just want to understand the concept of time better. I needed practical, pragmatic ways to manage time. The thing about it is that there’s really no how-to. Time is equal for all of us, so I did mimic habits of others that I admire, but it’s also a very customizable equation. That’s a gift, but it was also tedious at first. The hard part is not making a schedule. I have a gift at making schedules. Especially for others. The hard part is sticking to it and respecting the boundaries you’re trying to set. Here’s a short list of tips that have helped me:
When you’re behind on everything else, get ahead on dinner.
Getting out of the house will take 30min longer than you thought it would, so plan accordingly. PS: it’s ok to be early.
Build rest times into your day so you don’t crash at 4pm.
You’re never going to finish the project the day you start. Stop getting mad at all the interruptions and just accept that you have to schedule bits of time into multiple days.
Scheduling your days can give you more flexibility for spontaneity, not less.
Even when you’re in the zone (or “just one more thing” mode), respect the boundaries you’re trying to set.
Keeping a tight schedule can feel rigid but it’s really no different that keeping a budget. You’re just being a good steward of what already exists. You can’t create more of it, and you certainly don’t want to waste any of it. Time management is simply using a God given resource wisely. It just takes some practice to be good at it. Like most things.
One of the more beautiful gifts that has come from honing this practice, besides a smoother running household, is contentment. When I know that I’ve done all I can to manage my time well, and life is still off the rails, I don’t turn into a raging lunatic that is suddenly trying to do all the laundry because it’s the one thing I can properly manage (I meannnnn, sometimes I still do this). Instead, I can look around and be content with what is and not question where I’ve gone wrong. I have given up the frazzled > running around > trying to squeeze in too many things > binging time on media because I turned brain dead, and have replaced it with slower working habits (with only the occasionally frazzled day). My scrolling habit is almost nonexistent because I realized I simply don’t have the time to fit it in. I wake up early and I crash hard at night. But I am so much more content with what I do accomplish and almost never re-work the day in my head while I fall asleep.
Hoping you can get more done in a day that the hours allot, or wishing you can be in multiple places at once, is no different than the original sin of Adam. They desired God’s omniscience. Our desire is for his omnipresence. Being a time respecter is learning how to be grateful for the boundaries God has given us as humans.
God, give us the wisdom to accept the limitations you have given us instead of being insatiable for the impossible.
What I’ve been reading:
First time reading. It’s given me a lot to think on and I can’t wait to discuss this in book club. It might be life changing. Time will tell.
I read 3 memoirs this month and this is the only one worth sharing. The other 2 were selections from the library; I’ll never regret reading memoirs because I appreciate seeing life from different points of view but really, what are we calling memoirs these days? Saving My Assassin is unbelievable in the best way.
What I’ve been creating:
In an effort to accept my limitations on time, I have to realize that my creative outlets are shared right now. I rarely create for my own pleasure and I’m not sad about that. I hope to have that again in the future but for now my creativity is being dispersed as I teach my kids. Creativity this month comes in the way of teaching an art class at our co-op. The kids are learning how to mix their own paint colors and paint a still life. I’m enjoying it immensely. The kids on this class day were creating a painting from secondary colors.